I had this bizarre (is there any other kind?) dream last night. I usually don't remember my dreams, and the ones I do remember, aren't all that interesting. This dream was different. For some reason, I couldn't get it out of my mind while I was driving to work today. It's strange how dreams work, sorting and sifting our life while we sleep. This particular dream was the merging of several stories and I'll explain as we go along.
So there I was, sound asleep, minding my own business, when it hit me like a ton of bricks - a dream. The dream opened with me at an audition for a play. (In High School I was in several plays, and acting was a big part of my life, so it isn't that unusual for me to dream about an audition.) I'm not sure where I was in the dream, probably Ohio. (Usually the location\setting of my dreams default back to my hometown - Xenia, OH.) In the dream, I happened to notice that my parents were in the audience, waiting to watch me audition. (This was a bit odd since family members don't usually come to auditions, especially for a simple High School drama. At this point, you should also know that I've been trying to get a particular job now for several months.)
Right before I was called up on stage, I realized that, for some illogical reason, if I didn't get a part in the play, I wouldn't get the job I'd been hoping for either. Don't ask me how this dream-logic works. All I knew was that I absolutely had to get a part in the play, or it was bye-bye to my budding career. As you can imagine, this caused me a great amount of stress. However, I wasn't too worried because I've auditioned several times, and I know how it works...or so I thought. I went up on stage, was handed a script, and was told that I had to SING my lines! (In the auditions during High School, we were given the scripts in advance so that we could prepare, and we never, ever, had to sing.) When it came time for me to sing, I panicked. I couldn't find my place in the script, I didn't even know what tune I was supposed to sing, and I kept stuttering and stammering as I spoke/sang. I was devastated. I looked out at the crowd, and my parents were so embarrassed that they had quietly exited the building. (I think that this part of the dream stemmed from my need of affirmation from others. I often worry about what other people think about me, nearly to an extreme. When I realized my parents had left the audition, I felt sick.)
After a minute or two of fumbling through the script, the producer (who oddly wasn't the producer I had in High School) told me to "stop wasting my time" and get off the stage. At this point I immediately assumed that Jimmy Whalen was going to get the part instead of me. (Jimmy and I went to High School together, and he always got the lead role in our High School plays. Ironically however, Jimmy and I were, and still are, great friends.) As I took my walk of shame off the stage, I stopped and pleaded with the producer to believe that I had "tried my best".
I was absolutely heart broken. I didn't get the part, and, consequently, I didn't get the job. Once I got home, the director (who, again, was not the director I had in High School) called me and asked, "What happened? Did you just not care about getting the part?" I pleaded with the director to give me a second chance. I explained to him that he should give me the part because I had been in so many plays, and that I had just had a really, really bad day. I was explaining to the director that I had tried as hard as I could, pleading with him to let me have the part when my alarm went off and I had to get up and go to work.
So that's it. That's about as interesting as my dreams get. I hope that this glimpse into my mind doesn't leave too big of a scar on you. Maybe tonight I'll have a dream that will let me know whether or not I got the part. Oh, don't worry, if I ever dream a sequel, I'll be sure to let you know how it ends.